What do you want for Christmas?

What do you want for Christmas?

How many times do you get asked this? How many people ask you? How many times do you answer, oh nothing? Well I am going to tell you what to ask for this year.

First let me start by reminding you that January first is just around the corner. All over my Facebook feed I will see New Year, New Me. Everyone will be getting gym memberships. They will start their “diets”. They will be spending a fortune trying to lose weight. Why not use Christmas as a starting point? Why not have other people buy the things you are going to need just one week later? Brilliant?  I thought so.

Now here is my list of things you could ask for for Christmas.

Sam’s Club Membership
I hear you, why am I buying MORE FOOD? Because you are going to be fixing your breakfast and taking your lunch. You are going to be buying in bulk and take those little Rubbermaid containers full of carrots and celery. You’ll have the small bag of chips. You’ll buy meat in bulk and fix it on the weekend so you have something to take to lunch every day. You’ll need bottled waters and protein drinks (and believe me Sam’s Club has the best price on bottled water).

Lunch Box
We just learned you’ll start taking lunch to work with you, you have to put it somewhere. You will need a lunch box, maybe that lunch crock pot so you can have a warm lunch. You will also need those little ice packs to keep your lunch cold

You want to keep track of how good you are doing. You are competitive, so you’ll want to be able to beat your buddies steps. So tell someone to get you a fitbit or a Garmin. Have them spend their money on some thing you want but don’t really “need”.

Nutri Bullet
I like the Nutri Bullet better than the Ninja BECAUSE the blades are dull. Those ninjas are deadly. But you need something to help you make smoothies. You have to start eating breakfast and the quickest way to do that is to just drink it. I mix my protein drink up with strawberries and bananas and get half my protein for the day and enough carbs to get me started all in one.

Coupon Organizer
Yep, you need some way to keep all those coupons that you are going to clip organized. Now I hear you asking, why am I clipping coupons. It’s because eating healthy, IT’S EXPENSIVE

Now we get to the FUN stuff

Gym clothes
Those heavy fleece lined sweats are terrible at they gym. They weigh you down. You spend they whole time trying to pull them up. And honestly you don’t look cute in them.  What you need are some new gym clothes. The clothes they have nowadays are made for working out. The keep your body temp regulated. They have odor control in them. They wick the moisture away from your skin. They do their job as long as you are doing yours. So go out and get some gym clothes, don’t forget the bag either.

Shoes and socks
I know that shoes and socks aren’t really fun, but they are necessary for they gym. And I’m not talking cute little pink sneakers that you bought on clearance. I am taking about shoes fitted to you with socks that are made for sweating in. Go to your local running store and get fitted for your “special” shoes, believe me your feet will thank you.

You’ll want some tunes or a TV show to watch when you hit the gym. So maybe you need a special tablet just for the gym. Maybe an ipod. You’ll need some headphones. I suggest getting some wireless ones. If you’ve ever ran on a treadmill and snagged your wired headphones you know the fright of watching your phone go flying off the back of the treadmill. If you go to a gym like mine you might also want a few cheap pair of ear buds to listen to the tvs hooked up to the machines.

Injury repair
You already know that you are going to be SORE afterwards. So go on and get your ice packs, your heat pads and bandages.

Stocking Stuffer
Need some small suggestions. Get some body glide for that chub rub. Lip repair, I prefer vasaline. iTunes gift cards.

Good luck and good shopping

-from inside the mind of a fat girl

Why you need to take charge NOW!!!

Why you need to take charge NOW!!!

Did you know the average American gains more than a pound a year? In the 20 years between 20 years old and 40 years old, that’s 20 extra pounds! That’s an average of 2 sizes larger than you were when you hit 20. And if you wait 20 more years, that’s 20 more pounds and 2 more dress sizes. So if you are a size 10 when you are a teeneager then by the time you  hit 60, you are on average a size 18. That’s shopping at the BIG GIRL store.

So say you wait til you are 60 to get rid of that extra poundage. First it’s going to be harder just because you are older and probably not as physically fit as you once were. Then you have the fact your metabolism is just slower now so what you do eat doesn’t get processed correctly and turns to fat so the weight gain acelerates. Third we have your skin. It’s not as young as it was so that snap back into place skin you enjoyed as a teenager, it’s gone. It’s now a rubber band that’s been stretched too long and just hangs there. So if you do lose weight, you get to keep a skin suit.

These are just 3 of the reasons it’s better to start now than tomorrow.  So don’t weight (ha ha did you catch that pun?)! Don’t put off til tomorrow what you need to do today. Take your future back.

-from inside the mind of a fat girl

You can lead a horse to water, but it probably don’t want it anyways

You can lead a horse to water, but it probably don’t want it anyways

I have people who knew me before surgery and see me after surgery and they always want to know how I am doing it. Most people are informed enough to know that they don’t take a single pound away during the surgery, that you lose the weight in the months afterward and they want to know what the magic trick is. Well, it’s not that difficult. Every thing you did before surgery…..DON’T! It’s as complete lifestyle change. You have to change a hundred different things that you used to do.

So I start telling people. Stop soft drinks. Don’t drink while you eat. Eat 6-8 small meals a day and not one big meal. Read labels. Get out and start moving. Watch your salt intake. Double your protein intake. On and on and on. I keep telling people the things I have learned. But you know what? People don’t want to hear that. They want to hear that I have a little leprechaun inserted in my tummy that turns sugar to gold and I crap that now. They want to hear that the surgery does all the work and I don’t have to do anything. They want the EASY WAY OUT.

Well there is no such thing as the easy way.  Mine was “easier” because their are instant consequences for eating things I shouldn’t or too much food. But if I don’t watch every day, I can gain the weight I lost back and some more because body is used to a lower calorie lifestyle now.

So if you want to know how to lose weight, great. I am glad that you are taking charge of your life. But there is NO easy way. No magic pill. No super food. It’s just doing what you should have been doing in the first place.

-from inside the mind of a fat girl.

Fruits and Veggies does a belly bad

Fruits and Veggies does a belly bad

Ok, the weather is about to warm up. Everyone wants to look good in their swim gear. So it’s time to drop a few pounds. With summer on the way, the amount of fruit and veggies readily available become abundant. So what I’d you do, you drop the cookies and crackers and start packing the apples and pears broccoli for lunch. But what’s this?!?!? That lunch is making your stomach make all sorts of noise! OMG, the stomach ache is a killer. Did an elephant run under my chair? I know that noise didn’t come from me! What you have now is excess gas.

Yep, that food that is so good for you is ruining your life. Like they say, you can have too much of a good thing. So what’s causing this? Glad you asked. You are now eating COMPLEX carbohydrates,  these have 3 or more type of sugars in them that the belly has to break down unlike the simple carbohydrates like sugar and white flour that easily turn to fat. They do this by digesting easily and leaving you hungry all over again. The fruits and veggies (along with beans, nuts and skim milk) are harder to digest. The tummy needs to work harder to break them down and that means GAS!!!! Lovely methane emissions. They come out the top, come out the bottom and make all sorts of noise while inside ya.

Now you want to know what you can do about this orchestra in your tummy. First start off slow. Don’t go all out and try to switch your diet from bread and cookies to cauliflower and bananas. Start gradually and give your tummy a chance to catch up.

Also avoid sugar free items. These are full of sugar alcohol that the tummy doesn’t like either.  Stick with the real stuff if you are going to have it.

Keep hydrated! Not only is water good for you in general but it’s good for your digestion. Just remember. No drinking 30 minutes before you eat til 30 min after your done. You don’t want to dilute the juices in your stomach that breaks down food.

One more reminder.  It’s not just gas that’s going to be a problem.  If you increase your water, your going to have to GO more often. Plan accordingly.  This means don’t change it up on a 4 hour ride to grandma’s house.  You’ll have to stop every 30 minutes and you’ll never get there.

-from inside the mind of a fat girl

Let’s confuse the patient

Let’s confuse the patient

How many times do you go to the Dr about something and leave totally confused? Happens to me all the time.  They don’t give you information you need or do give you a lot of info that you don’t need.

My parents went to the Dr this week and I think the weight loss info the Dr gave them was misleading. She wanted dad to start watching his weight and drop a few pounds. That’s great! I’ve been saying that for awhile, glad the Dr agrees. But the way she went about it aggrivated me. She told them about serving size of fruits and vegetables and meat. That’s handy info to have but it’s not what you need to hear when you need to lose more than just 10 lbs. If you are trying to lose 20 or more pounds (and I am really talking about 40 here) you can’t confuse people with counting out 11 grapes!!!!!  Or the size of the apple you have in your hand. The first few months need to be about getting rid of the sweets, the cokes, the junk food, not having only 11 grapes instead of 13.

So when you first start your weight loss journey listen to the junk they tell you about portion control but then get realistic. ( I mean if you are at the point you are talking to professionals then we aren’t talking only 10 lbs here). You need to drop the things that are prepackaged. The cookies. The candy bars. The Freetos. You don’t need to start worrying about the fruits and vegetables until you get a hold on the foods that put that weight on you in the first place. Cause believe me, nobody ever got fat on eating an apple bigger than their fist.

-from inside the mind of a fat girl

Things they don’t tell you about weight loss surgery

Sorry for this will be a long post. I know of several people that are thinking about having weight loss surgery and figured they should know some of the things that happen that the Dr’s DON’T tell you about.

Things they don’t tell you about weight loss surgery

To qualify for surgery you have to go through MULTIPLE  months of tests and Dr office visits before they will cut you. They will send you to a psychiatrist. Therapists. Dieticians. You’ll have procedures before they cut like EGD, blood work, echos and stress tests. You go through the wringer. They tell you about the actual weight loss. The HAIR LOSS. And they tell you “some” of the side effects, like there is a really good chance you’ll need your gallbladder removed eventually (that means just months later). And they tell you the more skin you have the more likely it won’t just snap back into place.

But they don’t tell you EVERYTHING!

They put you on a whole regimen of pills. Iron, calcium,  b12, chewables, etc. But they DON’T tell you that those iron pills……they keep you from going to the bathroom. I mean you are sitting on the toilet crying, big fat baby tears.  You can get hemorrhoids from trying to force it. I would rather go out and lick a cow to get the iron I need than to take those pills.  Believe me, Google has been my friend to find foods high in iron so I don’t have to take those anymore.

You’ll have joint pain. I am not talking about owie, I am talking about oh my god my arm is falling off. My right elbow hurts so bad sometimes that I can’t even pick up a pencil. The compression sleeve I wear really helps keep the elbow in check so I don’t straighten it up all the way or bend it all the way either. It has truly been a god send. I am not 100000% sure what causes this but was told that the ligaments don’t repair and shrink as fast as the fat and muscles do, so that can cause injuries to joints. I am almost to the point where I will have to wear a sleeve on my knee too because just doing my job every day is tearing it up. Every time I climb in and and have to climb back out of the trailers, I feel it.

Your blood press is going to drop. Yes they tell you that if you have high blood pressure and are on drugs you will probably not be on them for long. They say your blood pressure will drop and you’ll be fine. But here is the thing.  You will definitely drop your blood pressure, mine at one time was 150/90 and now it’s 111/65. But that’s when I am running around a Dr’s office. When I am not doing anything its drastically lower. When I first had the surgery THIS was the problem that kept me from coming back to work as soon as they wanted. I would pass out EVERY time I stood up. I would get up in the middle of the night and find myself on the floor with no clue on how I got there. I really had to learn how to deal with this. How to sit up slowly. How to take a second for everything to move BEFORE getting out of bed. How to make sure i never get dehydrated because that drops your blood pressure more. I had to learn to keep a G2 next to the bed to give me a little boost when I first woke up. I am really glad I figured that problem out.

MY ASS HURTS. I am not talking like I got spanked, I am talking like when someone pulls a chair out from under you and you land on your tail bone. My ass hurts that bad sometimes. It hurts bad enough that I have gotten physically sick from the pain. It is usually when I have sat in a vehicle for too long (that’s a great problem for a semi truck driver to have). It’s because you lose ALL the muscle and fat in your booty. Its because its flat as a pancake. What is left is droopy and is not in the position it needs to be in. What can you do for droopy ass? Squats, Lunges, and buy a donut. Yep, if I know I am going to be stuck in a car I have to bring my own security pillow. Luckily I got a really good tractor at work that keeps me from bringing my donut there (who knows the boys might try to eat it).

And you know that hair loss they told you about? It also means your nails are going to turn to crap. You’ll break them and they will split and get little grooves in them. Your nails are really going to take a hit.

They also didn’t tell you what would REALLY happen when you ate something you shouldnt. For me the first time it was a pork chop. I love pork chops, I would probably even knick named one of my kids that. But the first time I tried to eat it I thought I was going to have to call an ambulance. I broke out in a complete body sweat. My heart was racing so fast I thought it was going to come out of my chest. I couldn’t even throw up, my stomach wouldn’t let me. I was just clear stuff for about 3 hours. To this day, 5 months later, I still won’t touch them. I know better. To a lesser degree pizza does the same thing, really any bread product doesn’t settle well.

They tell you how more physically fit you’ll be.  How you’ll be able to do so much more, which is true. I ran my second 10K in the same amount of time as my first 5K before the weight came off. That’s a major accomplishment. But they DO NOT tell you how much weaker you’ll be.  I was pretty strong before the surgery.  I could carry 2 50 lb baths of horse feed to the barn at one time before.  Just throw each up on my shoulders and go.  But after the surgery. ……I picked up my luggage once and could barely move it. So I figured it was way over the 50 lb limit and shipped some stuff back home instead of taking a chance at the airport.  When I got to the airport, my bag only weighed 24 lbs. Would have been 37 lbs before I took stuff out.  I turned into a weakling! 8 months later I am still not able to “throw my weight around” and move heavy stuff like I did before. You lose a lot of muscle when you lose the fat too. It takes a long while to get it back and it’s a very slow journey.

Shopping can take forever now. There’s no I’m just going to run in and grab a pair of shorts and a t shirt. You now have to try clothes on. I mean lots of clothes. You’ll go in thinking you are a size 16 and really be a 12. And those Bermuda shorts are going to look OK but not great on you so you try a shorter inseam and find that the 3.5 inch looks the best on you. You never wore shorts that short before. So you start to wonder if you look slutty in these smaller clothes. Now you need to ask other peoples opinion. But you you won’t really believe them. (Hint have people take pics of you in clothes so you can really see how you look in them. Those dressing room mirrors play mind games)

You’re  going to annoy EVERYONE. That’s right. You will be this annoying person that wants everyone to get healthy too. You’ll start to preach like a sinner who finally found church. It will almost be a calling to spread the gospel of weight loss. And believe me, not everyone wants to hear it. They might be curious and want to know what you did but they don’t really want to know the details. And the heavy people in your life, they REALLY don’t want to hear it. They haven’t had their breakthrough moment yet. The moment where they decide to take matters in their own hands. So they really wish you would shut up. But you cant. You are happy and want everyone else to be happy too. Even if they ARE happy you think you know better and want to push them towards YOUR happiness.

Also people are going to annoy the shit out of you. They are going to ask “Aren’t you done losing weight?” They don’t realize that you have no control over it. That the surgery decides how much you lose. That all you do is stick to the plan and things will even out in the end. They ask this question and I tell them I have 13 more pounds to go and they almost get mad about it. They say I am too small already. That’s because ether are used to seeing me quite a bit larger. I ask them point blank, how much do you think I weigh. The answer is usally around 125-130, when I say 173 they are SHOCKED. The thing is I are still in the overweight catagory according  to my Dr.  160 puts me right on the borderline of what is healthy. So when you have people be judgy and think you are going to the extreme, just trust on yourself.  You know what you have been through more than anyone else does.

There is probably a hundred more tiny things that they don’t tell you about but that’s the big stuff. The stuff that makes you wonder if you did the right thing. But in matter what negative side effect I have, I have would do the surgery again tomorrow. Best decision of my life.

-from inside the mind of a fat girl



With swimsuit season fast approaching I know most people are wanting to shed a few extra pounds before facing the dressing room mirror when swimsuit shopping. Most people when they decide to start their “diet” go overboard. Tell themself no for everything they want to eat. That just backfires and then you yo-yo diet because you finally break down and eat everything not tied down. So I am going to give you a little tip that helped me when I first started losing weight (before surgery).

Change your snacks! Don’t change how often you snack. Don’t tell yourself not to snack. Just change them to things better for you. Fruit and veggies are great substitutes for the vending machine chocolate but really who wants to eat fruits and veggies ALL the time? Not me! So I changed my candy bar for a protein bar. Now the FIRST protein bar you are going to try will taste like cardboard. Don’t give up! You probably went for too many proteins and not enough sugar to start with. I actually like the Luna Bars for first time protein bar eaters. My favorite has 8 grams protein and 12 grams sugars. Yes look at the sugar content not just just the carbs. Because fiber is a carb and can increase that total. When you get serious about your nutrition you’ll want the protein in the double digits and the carbs in the single digits but you have to get yourself off of sugar before you can tolerate the taste.

So try something new. My favorite is the Luna Chocolate Peppermint Stick. Kind of taste like a Girl Scout Thin Mint cookies. But there are hundreds of them out there. When you finally get off sugar Premier  Protein has great bars that are really good meal replacement bars.

-from inside the mind of a fat girl

For the girls

For the Girls

OK this is for the girls, but the guys probably need to hear this too.

Losing weight won’t make your life INSTANTLY better. It won’t make your love life better. It won’t make your finances better. It won’t make you irresistible to guys. It’s not a QUICK FIX!!!!

So please quit thinking if I just lose those last 10 lbs then everything will be just peachy. Cause it’s just you, 10 lbs less and you probably need to go spend money you don’t have to buy new clothes that you won’t have time to wear cause you have to work to pay for the new clothes.

Here’s another example. My job takes me all around the city. I see new people everyday. I see some people several times a week, but mostly it’s a few new people every day. 110 lbs ago, I averaged 5 phone numbers a month. Yep that’s right, the girl nearly 300 lbs was pulling in the digits. But now….. I have been to work for 2 months and not one number. Guys that hit on me before. ..nothing. New guys…….nothing. It has been surreal. On one hand I miss the attention, but for the most part I am relieved that I don’t have to say NO THANKS. Cause I got a man and he loved me when I was huge and loves me still at this weight.

It really made me think today when I went to a customer that I used to get flirted with regularly and they didnt. It made me realize, size is just just a number. So please don’t put unrealistic expectations on your weight loss. Cause all you will have is a smaller body and an intense craving for some chocolate. Lose weight FOR YOU. Because you want to be healthier. Because you want to live longer. Because you want to be able to run without having to hold your side. Because you want a new wardrobe and this is how you will justify buying it. Not to get a man.

-from inside the mind of a fat girl

If you can’t say anything nice…..

If you can’t say anything nice…..

I don’t know how many times I have heard this but it’s true. When I go around with my mom and she tells people that she has breast cancer they HAVE to tell her a story about someone that had cancer and DIED!!!! Oh, so and so was the picture of health. Went to the Dr one day and got diagnosed with cancer and died 3 weeks later.  WTF?!?!?! Someone going through cancer don’t want to hear that. They want to hear about the stories of someone that was told they had 6 months to live and that was 15 years ago.

So if you can’t say anything nice, tell a positive story, then repeat after me…….”I am so sorry for you” then shut the hell up.

-from inside the mind of a fat girl



You definitely can’t chose your family, that’s who you are stuck with but you can chose your friends. Most people have friends they went to school with or lived down the street from or work with. Mostly it’s due to geographical location who they end up counting as their friends. But with the invent of social media you don’t have to limit your friends to people within so many square miles of where you were born.

There is this interesting thing called Facebook that let’s you connect with people from all over the world. You can find people that have the same interest that you do. The “best friend” that you have had since grade school might not be into scrapbooking like you are. But there is probably people on Pinterest that have the same exact flare that you have.  You may like painting while everyone in your family thinks it’s a waste of time and money, but as soon as you log on to social media there they are……people that support your obsession.  Hell, you might be into frogs or snakes and I bet there is a group of people online that understand you.

I recently discovered that I liked being able to compete again. I showed horses in high school and a few years after (had to stop when I had to “grow up” and get a “real” job). I didn’t realize how much of my life was centered around going to competitions until it was taken away. And when I did my first 5K in 2014 I got a taste of that feeling. I was given a medal when I crossed the line. It wasn’t a special medal, I received the same one every other runner competing received. But I got a medal that no one at my work I had.  No one, except my mother, in my family had it either. I wanted to COLLECT MORE! GIVE ME ALL THE MEDALS! It wasn’t me against the other runners. It was the other runners and I against everyone that didn’t get off their rear ends to get that medal.

My family kind of looks at me like I am crazy but with Facebook I could connect with like minded people. People that aren’t expecting to finish first, just finish. These “friends” celebrate the fact that they are going to be the slow pokes in a race. The runners at the rear. They encourage newbies that have never run a step before to give it it’s try.

So don’t limit your friends to people that happen to grow up near you. Look around for like minded people that have your same interest. Just don’t neglect your old friends cause they already know your most embarrassing stories.

-from inside the mind of a fat girl